Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
