Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
