Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.