ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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