she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
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I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
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no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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