my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
