It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
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I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
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You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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