you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
