In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
