I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
