then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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