Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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