I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Please don't give away my fajitas
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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