He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
