I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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