just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
