I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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