Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
