its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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