So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize