Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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