I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize