Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
