So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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