For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The police scanner is talking about you again....
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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