im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
