dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
