Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
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