Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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