who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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