i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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