do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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