I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
