omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
