cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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