Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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