There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
