I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just invented taco cereal.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
