is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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