guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
