you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
