Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
