your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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