Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
