im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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