Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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