Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just want to make out with him forever
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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