I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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