I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize