ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
