bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
