Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
