RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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