yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
