You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
