hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize