my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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