Moan for me like Helen Keller
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I wish i was in the wii world.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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