have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
